Project 52: Week 17

/ Tuesday, May 31, 2011

When I was younger, I had a journal I wrote in almost everyday. It was a cute red Hello Kitty one with a lock. It kept my silly ramblings, thoughts of the day, and stickers. Lots of stickers. Every couple of years or so, I would purchase a new one and fill it. Sometimes I would forget to write in it and try to sum up what happened in the last couple of months. It was my way of documenting my silliness. I still have them except for one. I had torn out the pages over some "stupid" boy who threw his Trapper Keeper at me in the school yard. The Trapper Keeper hit my head as I stood there next to the monkey bars shocked. I remember thinking I liked this boy. Now, he was no longer my friend.

There is a thin scar across my right cheek. It's faded now over the years but it's still there. I remember that afternoon so clearly... I ran home, went into my room, and started ripping the pages out of my journal. I wish I could tell my younger self to stop. To stop ripping the pages & cute stickers as they fell into bits on the carpet. To stop feeling overwhelmed with emotion as hot tears ran down my wounded cheek. To stop and remember the other memories written on those pages. Oh, the drama at such a young age.

Last week, I was feeling very overwhelmed but I had to document it. I didn't want to forget the moment as it would likely fade into little bits. I want to remember and just smile. And, that is what I'm doing now. Smiling at how just one week could change my life in so many ways. And, for this, I'm thankful.


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